Hey there, beautiful soul. 💖
Today, I want to share something important I've learned on my journey—a treasure that can truly level up your life. This skill, called emotional intelligence, is super important for living a purposeful and faithful life dedicated to God.
Imagine it as a powerful tool in your explorer’s toolkit, helping us navigate the wild storms of our emotions.
One moment, you might feel on top of the world, and the next, it’s like everything is crashing down. I’ve been there too, clinging on for dear life. But guess what? You have the power to calm that storm and take control. That's why understanding and managing your emotions can change your life for the better.
Do you sometimes react in ways you regret later?
Without emotional intelligence, our emotions can control us, leading to stress, problems in our relationships, and making poor decisions that we may regret.
I've gathered valuable strategies for you to implement in your life and become more emotionally intelligent. Once you learn these strategies, you can better understand your emotions, manage them effectively, and use them to build stronger relationships and make wiser decisions. Happy reading, my love.
What is Emotional Intelligence?
In simple terms, Emotional intelligence (EI) is the ability to recognize, understand, and manage your own emotions, as well as recognize and influence the emotions of others. It involves being aware of your feelings, empathizing with others, and using this awareness to guide our thoughts and actions. This leads to a more balanced and fulfilling life.
Benefits of Emotional Intelligence
Improved Mental Health: High EI is associated with better mental health, including lower levels of stress and depression. People with high EI are better at managing their emotions and dealing with stressors.
Here are some practical golden nuggets and hacks to help you enhance your EI
Start your day with a few minutes of praying, deep breathing and meditation. Use apps like Headspace or Calm to guide your practice. Mindfulness helps reduce stress and increases emotional awareness.
Keep a gratitude journal and write down three things you are thankful for each day, thank God every day and praise His name every day, sing songs of worship unto your creator. Reflecting on positive experiences can boost your mood and reduce stress.
Incorporate activities like walking, or dancing into your routine. Physical activity releases endorphins, which are natural mood lifters, and helps manage stress.
Make an effort to stay connected with loved ones. Schedule regular catch-ups or join clubs and groups with like-minded individuals. A strong support network provides emotional support and reduces feelings of isolation. I had a problem with staying in touch with people.
Schedule "me time" into your daily routine, whether it’s reading a book, taking a bath, or enjoying a hobby. Self-care activities help recharge your mind and body, reducing stress and enhancing emotional resilience.
Better Relationships: EI helps in understanding and empathizing with others, leading to stronger and more positive relationships. It helps to strengthen the connection and bond, you treat others with love, kindness, care and respect. Give honor where it is due.
Here are some golden nuggets to help you strengthen your relationships
Follow through on your promises and commitments. Consistency in your words and actions builds trust over time, making others feel secure in their relationship with you.
When conflicts arise, take a step back and approach the situation with a calm and open mind. Use phrases like, “I understand we have different viewpoints. Let’s find a solution that works for both of us”
Perform small acts of kindness daily, such as giving compliments, offering help, or simply being there to listen. These gestures create a positive atmosphere and make others feel valued and respected.
When someone shares their emotions with you, respond with empathy by saying things like, "That sounds really tough" or "I can see why you feel that way." This validates their feelings and strengthens your connection.
Acknowledge the contributions and achievements of others publicly and privately. Whether it’s a coworker’s idea or a friend’s support, showing appreciation strengthens relationships and encourages a culture of mutual respect.
When receiving feedback, listen without interrupting, thank the person for their input, and reflect on how you can improve. This shows maturity and a willingness to grow, which strengthens relationships.
Ask for permission before crossing someone’s boundaries and be mindful of their comfort levels. For example, if someone seems uncomfortable discussing a certain topic, steer the conversation elsewhere. Don't be nosy.
Take on new challenges together, such as learning a new skill or taking a course.
Enhanced Job Performance: EI is a key factor in doing your job well. EI helps you manage stress, collaborate effectively, share ideas freely, and resolve conflicts amicably.
Here are some golden nuggets to help you excel in your career:
Celebrate the successes of your colleagues as you would your own. Recognize that their achievements do not diminish your value. Focus on teamwork and the collective success of the team.
Create an environment of open communication where everyone feels safe to share their thoughts. Acknowledge and build on others’ ideas, showing that you value collective input.
Approach each day as an opportunity to learn something new. Seek feedback actively and use it to improve. Embrace a growth mindset, understanding that skills and intelligence can be developed with effort and persistence.
Encourage and support your teammates. Offer help when needed and recognize the strengths each member brings to the table.
View feedback as an opportunity to improve rather than a personal attack. Take notes during feedback sessions and create an action plan to address areas of improvement. Express gratitude for the feedback received.
Stay updated with the latest developments in your field to remain competitive.
Take the initiative to get to know your coworkers. Engage in conversations that go beyond work-related topics to build rapport and trust. Strong professional relationships can lead to a more supportive and enjoyable work environment. There should be boundaries though to avoid over-sharing personal and sensitive information. For your peace of mind as well.
Leadership Abilities: Leaders with high EI are more effective. They have the ability to inspire and influence others, manage stress, and promote a positive work environment. They can handle team dynamics better and motivate their team effectively.
Here are some golden nuggets to help you shine as a young leader:
Check in on a regular basis with your team members to understand their concerns and challenges.
Show compassion and provide support when needed.
Seek feedback from mentors and peers, and be open to constructive criticism. This helps you grow speedily.
Lead by Example by demonstrating integrity, accountability, and a strong work ethic. Your actions will set the standard for your team and inspire them to follow suit.
Welcome new challenges and encourage your team to view change as an opportunity for growth.
Practice deep breathing, mindfulness, and take breaks to stay calm and focused under pressure. I like to go outside after sitting for long periods and breathe in fresh air, listen to the birds sing and people watch or admire the greenery outside.
Approach conflicts with the aim to understand all perspectives. Don't pick sides, be neutral.
Provide specific feedback on what was done well and why it matters.
Stay informed about industry trends and be willing to pivot strategies as needed.
Set clear, achievable goals and provide regular feedback.
Encourage a love of learning and resilience.
Recognize and celebrate successes, both big and small, to boost morale and motivation.
Why Emotional Intelligence Matters
Emotional intelligence is important because it affects every area of our lives. It helps us navigate difficult social situations, lead and motivate others, and excel in our personal and professional lives. Unlike Intelligence Quotient (IQ), which is relatively static (it does not change much over time), Emotional Intelligence can be developed and improved over time with practice. Awesome right?
IQ (Intelligence Quotient) is a measure used to assess our human intelligence. The concept of IQ is based on tests that are standardized, meaning that they are designed to produce consistent results across different populations and contexts. ''They are designed to evaluate our cognitive abilities, including problem-solving skills, logical reasoning, math skills, spatial understanding, linguistic skills and understanding complex ideas''- Bryan Lindenberger
How to Stimulate Emotional Intelligence
Self-Awareness
Master and know your own emotions and how they affect your thoughts and behavior.
Practical Example: Being able to recognize when you’re feeling stressed, moody, joyful or angry and understanding how it impacts your interactions with others.
Spiritual Insight: Proverbs 4:23 tells us, "Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it." Being self-aware helps you guard your heart and make choices that are more aligned with the will of God.
Psychological Insight: Self-awareness involves mindfulness, which is paying attention to your thoughts and feelings without judging them. This helps you understand what can trigger you and the repeating patterns in your behavior. This gives you an opportunity to heal and correct them.
Self-Management
This is your ability to control impulsive feelings and behaviors, managing your emotions in healthy ways, taking the first step towards taking action, and following through on your commitments.
Practical Example: Instead of reacting in anger when something goes wrong, you take a deep breath, and you respond more calmly.
Spiritual Insight: Galatians 5:22-23 reminds us that self-control is a fruit of the Spirit. When we practice self-management, it aligns us with the Spirit of God.
Psychological Insight: Simple techniques like taking a deep breath can assist, try counting to ten, or taking a walk to help calm your mind and body, which reduces the impact of stress and anger on your actions.
Social Awareness
It is the understanding of the emotions, needs, and concerns of other people, picking up on emotional cues, and feeling comfortable when out in public.
Practical Example: Think of when you notice when a friend is feeling upset or down and you offer support or a listening ear.
Spiritual Insight: Romans 12:15 says, "Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn." Social awareness allows us to connect with others on a deeper level and offer God’s love and comfort.
Psychological Insight: Empathy is key here. It’s the ability to put yourself in someone else’s shoes and understand their feelings. This helps to build stronger, more supportive relationships. We all go through difficult moments in our life, and sometimes we just need someone to be there for us. So, we need to care for one another.
Relationship Management
Learn to develop and maintain good relationships, communicate clearly, inspire and influence others positively, work well in a team, and manage conflict well.
Practical Example: Resolving a disagreement with a friend by listening to their perspective and finding a mutually beneficial solution. Learn to listen and understand and not thinking of a response when someone is talking , as you may end up responding nonsense. It allows you to gather your thoughts and construct your sentences with understanding.
Learn how body posture and the tone you use impacts communication. If you are giving off a bad attitude or an avoidance body posture where you are facing the other side or not maintaining eye contact can discourage the other person.
Spiritual Insight: Ephesians 4:2-3 encourages us to "be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace."
Healthy relationships are built on these principles.
Psychological Insight: Effective communication involves active listening, where you focus fully on the speaker, and assertiveness, where you express your needs and feelings respectfully and clearly.
Strategies to Develop Emotional Intelligence
Practice Self-Reflection
Spend a few minutes each evening writing about your day, focusing on your emotions and how you handled various situations. This practice can enhance your self-awareness and help you identify areas for improvement. Journaling can be a helpful tool for this.
Spiritual Practice: Pray for God’s guidance to understand your emotions and seek His wisdom in managing them. Psalm 139:23-24 is a beautiful prayer of self-reflection: "Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me and lead me along the path of everlasting life."
Psychological Practice: Mindfulness meditation can help increase self-awareness by encouraging you to observe your thoughts and feelings without any judgment.
Improve Your Communication Skills
When someone is speaking, focus fully on them without thinking about your response. Nod, maintain eye contact, and ask clarifying questions. This shows that you value their perspective and are genuinely interested in understanding them. Do not use vulgar language, do not point fingers, do not give stinky looks. Stop over-sharing and over-explaining yourself to seek validation. Listen more, speak less.
Spiritual Practice: Proverbs 15:1 says, "A gentle answer turns away anger, but a harsh word stirs up anger." Aim to speak gently and kindly, even in difficult situations.
Psychological Practice: Role-playing can be a useful technique to practice and improve your communication skills in a safe environment.
Develop Empathy
Put yourself in others’ shoes to understand their perspectives and feelings. Volunteer or serve in your community to practice empathy in action.
Spiritual Practice: Colossians 3:12 encourages us to "clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience." Seek to embody these qualities in your interactions.
Psychological Practice: Reading fiction can improve empathy by allowing you to experience diverse perspectives and emotions through characters’ lives.
Manage Stress and Stay Positive
Find healthy ways to cope with stress, such as exercise, doing your favorite hobbies, or spending time in nature. Practice gratitude by focusing on the positive things in your life.
Spiritual Practice: Philippians 4:6-7 reminds us, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
Psychological Practice: Cognitive-behavioral techniques can help you reframe negative thoughts and focus on positive outcomes.
Practical Applications of Emotional Intelligence
At Home: When a family member is upset, practice empathy by listening to them and validating their feelings. Use self-management to stay calm during family disagreements.
At Work: Use social awareness to understand your colleagues' perspectives and relationship management to resolve conflicts. High EI helps in teamwork and leadership roles.
At School: Develop self-awareness to recognize when you’re feeling stressed about exams and use self-management techniques to stay calm and focused.
In Social Settings: Apply social awareness to pick up on friends’ emotional cues and relationship management to build stronger friendships. Have confidence, have good body posture, learn how to articulate yourself clearly. Don't be shy, don't bother other people, learn high class etiquettes.
Set Boundaries:
Hack: Learn to say no and set healthy boundaries.
Application: If you’re feeling overwhelmed or overcommitted, politely decline additional responsibilities or social invitations. Setting boundaries helps protect your mental and emotional well-being.
Importance of Continuous Learning and Growth
Stay Curious:
Advice: "Never stop learning." Continuous growth is vital for personal and professional development.
Application: Dedicate time each week to learning something new, whether it’s reading a book, taking an online course, or learning a new skill. This keeps your mind sharp and opens up new opportunities. You should always be well prepared for when God opens new doors for you that you don't squander them.
Emotional intelligence is a vital skill for navigating life’s challenges and building strong, healthy relationships. When you develop self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and relationship management, you can better understand and manage your emotions.
This will help you lead a more peaceful and fulfilling life that also honors God and reflects His love to others through you. Now that's amazing.
I encourage you to start today by practicing one of the strategies taught here. Reflect on your emotions, seek God’s guidance, and strive to understand and support those around you. Be the positive change maker in your community.
Closing Thought: Always remember that "A heart at peace gives life to the body." - Proverbs 14:30. Welcome emotional intelligence and let it bring peace and transformation to your life.
As always, remain faithful. I love you.
Sources
Harvard Business School Online. (2023). Emotional Intelligence in Leadership: Why It's Important.
PositivePsychology.com. (2023). The Importance of Emotional Intelligence (Incl. Quotes).
Medical News Today. (2023). Emotional intelligence: Components, importance, and examples.
Comments